by Emma Freeman

I’ve hit rock bottom

that deep dark silent place inside of myself

no more floating on the surface of my life

buoyed by all of the avoidant fantasies and numbing illusions

that kept me afloat In those shallow waters for so many years

I’m not sinking any more

afraid of drowning

now my feet stand on those smooth, ancient stones

carved by the soft water

my body anchored there

down down down

in my own depths

I’m standing inside of my own massive, beautiful, mysterious ocean

breathing

feeling the waves move me

but no longer knock me over completely

because the depths hold me steady now

The pain and the pleasure

the longings and the delights

the joys and the grief

the love and the loneliness

it all visits me down here

touching my body

gently molding and shaping me

smoothing my edges

just like all of those silent stones

I stand on now