Slight Discomfort

by Emma Freeman

While standing in the familiar beige room

the nurse says, “The doctor will be in shortly”

I take off my protective layers

put on the thin gown

and lay my body down 

on top of the stiff paper sheet

and slip my feet into the cold metal stirrups 

The doctor comes in and says,

“You might feel some slight discomfort”

in a relaxed and reassuring tone

Staring at the ceiling 

my body begins sending up flares

trying to get my attention

warning me she doesn’t feel safe 

But I ignore her

as I’ve been taught to do

and put my trust in the authority figure 

who is about to enter the most tender parts of me

And then… 

sharp, excruciating pain 

as whatever that is that she hasn’t explained

scrapes along the inside of me

making my entire body clench and tighten

The doctor says in her annoyed tone,

“Just try to relax”

as tears roll down my cheeks

words of pain escape from my mouth

 my body still guarding and protecting

trying to resist this invasion

The doctor finally removes the metal object

clearly frustrated she couldn’t complete her task

never apologizing or asking what I actually felt

instead prescribing me one option

so I assume it was all “slight discomfort”

Then I’m left alone to get dressed

as she rushes out to her next appointment

My body suddenly sobbing and trembling

from the shock of what just happened

I try to pull myself together

wiping the tears from my face

taking a few deep breaths

I put on my coat and as I walk by the receptionist

with my puffy eyes and racing heart

I hear, “Have a good day!”