by Emma Freeman

When someone whispers something to me

I can’t understand what they are saying

watching their lips as I try to make out the message

what I hear is mostly a murmur

indecipherable words meant to create intimacy

whispers now make me feel like I’ve suddenly

drifted a thousand miles away from someone

leaving me feeling frustrated and embarrassed

Something seemingly so simple

hearing someone speak

that I took for granted for many years

now often takes conscious effort

In order to hear now

I have to tune in with my whole being

fully focusing on the person in front of me

watching their face and listening to their body’s language

I turn on subtitles so I can read the words as mouths move

and wear tiny amplifiers inside those tender tunnels in my head

It seems that as my hearing has softened

I have been called to notice so much more in every word now

in the ones spoken and unspoken

As I’m listening to someone

or to my mind telling me its stories

a word or a phrase will suddenly jump out

and I feel drawn to feel through its subtle textures

around its curves and edges

as if I just picked up an unexpected something

while out walking along a familiar road somewhere

It seems I am able to hear more in the quiet now too

as if the silent world’s volume turned up

as the noisy world’s volume turned down

And now I can listen with my hands

when they move across the surface of someone’s skin

or hold a piece of old cloth

messages seem to come through from somewhere

messages full of light and dark

of tenderness and memory

of questions and more questions

they silently speak to me

as if my hands

as if my whole body is all ears now…